BY FATMA GİZEM TAŞLIÇAY
gizem.taslicay@ug.bilkent.edu.tr
As we grow up, the meaning of happiness and our search for it gets more complicated. There comes a time when we feel completely lost in the world as we look for life’s meaning. I don’t know if there can be a scientific formula for happiness, about how to find it and, more importantly, how to keep it, because everyone looks for it through a different lens. It is difficult to define how to be happy, but I will attempt to tell you. I hope this will be a helpful guide for people who feel lost, because I was able to find my way to happiness with some guidance.
I look up to some amazing people in my life, but one particularly stands out: my mother. I have seen her stories play out and some chapters are filled with struggles, some with pain, and most with her search for meaning. I have watched her search relentlessly for happiness as though her most important mission was to be happy regardless of struggle. It confused me how someone could find such moments of joy in their worst times. She became my role model, not because she was successful or a fantastic mother, but because she walked through life finding happiness when everyone else seemed unable to do so. I remember her telling me that whatever I did or would do, I should do things I loved. Although we may all hear this and the concept is neither mind-blowing nor revolutionary, actions speak louder than words. Seeing it play out and witnessing it made me believe it. She told me to do what I want because things will work themselves out and it is better to live life without “what-ifs.” It’s not easy to be this courageous or to dive headfirst with eyes closed, but everything good and worthwhile comes with thorns. I am still trying to be like her, but I realize that even the journey towards happiness brings me joy if I listen to my heart.
My mother has always had a child’s spirit. Most of my, and probably your, purely happy moments come from childhood. Perhaps this why we feel lost as adults as we continuously hear that we should “grow up.” People like my mother prove that having a youthful spirit is okay. It is okay to wonder what’s to come in life, just like the curious kids we once were. It is okay to do what you truly want, like a kid learning by falling. It is okay to enjoy life, regardless of our age. What I learned from my mother is that happiness does not come from achieving something or being in a particular place in life, it comes from searching for happiness while enjoying the journey’s ups and downs, failures and successes. I hope you will decide to search for happiness, because then you will look forward to all the chapters to come.
